We were practically - almost literally - shouting, "WE WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU!" But they just kept talking about everything they had to get done. And I would have accepted homework and whatever else as a legitimate excuse, had it not been for the comment one guy made. I don't remember the exact order of the words, but basically it was, "I can't go do something, I have too much homework. Maybe if a tall blonde drove by..." and all the rest of the boys started smiling and nodding. The girls and I just looked at each other. And that's when we left. Or I did, at least.
I really do believe that's when I decided to stop wasting energy on dating and "searching," because guys apparently didn't even care to find out if a skinny, average-height, curly-haired brunette would be nice to spend time with. If I couldn't get them to accept my appearance, how would I ever get them to accept my personality or any other part of me? Of course, that was just one small group of boys, but to me at that moment, they represented the opinion of men in general.
I don't know how much this attitude has really affected the frequency of my getting asked out or dating in general. I'm sure it has, to some extent. But I don't know whether or not I would have had any more success had I not reacted to this experience in the way that I did. Who could know? Oh, and just to be clear, I have accepted dates and even asked guys out since that time. I didn't completely shun them or anything. What I did was stop living for them and start living for myself (and for God).
So, obviously, I still haven't found that guy that likes curly-haired brunettes. And it doesn't even matter. Because what I really want is a guy who likes ME - not just my hair, not just my height, not whether I'm smart or not - just ME, all of me. So I'm just focusing on the people already in my life - my family and friends. And, of course, I'm focusing on making my life the best it can be. Since I don't know how soon it's going to be or how long it's going to be, why worry about it? I want to enjoy my life while it's here. And I can do it without being tall OR blonde.