So, I think I just saw marriage as kind of the gateway into that big unknown called "adulthood." And even though I still got there (maybe by the side gate?), I still feel like I'm just pretending. Or something. But it can't be something I'm just making up. At church, I was grouped with the "young single adults" until I finally rebelled and started going with the rest of the "adults" when I was almost 30 years old. And some of those adults were 24 or 25 -- younger than me, but completely transitioned into the rest of the group -- while I, though older than them, was still considered "young adult" because I was single. Much of my social life has historically revolved around church, so being grouped with the younger crowd in this way made it difficult for me to meet and make friends my age through that avenue.
Another possible reason that I'm so sensitive to this is that, as you can see from my picture, I kind of look a lot younger than I really am. I've often been viewed and treated as younger than I am. When I was eleven, my mom signed me up for swimming lessons, and the instructors put me in the class with the six-year-olds. To this day, I'm not a good swimmer because I never took swimming lessons again after that summer.
I'm not saying I'm the most mature person my age ever. In fact, there are aspects of me that are legitimately immature. But I feel like I'm about average for my age. I don't know if other people have similar feelings or stories or if I'm just blind to my obvious faults. Either way, I just want to be valued as a person first.